HAUNTED BY THE HOLY GHOST

UNFAITHFUL

Marriage is nothing more
than shared incompleteness
utterance to the groaning of all creation
with distant strains of the rest
the closing cadence of Salvation
Peace lived before it's time
but we have shifted modes
a half step up,
or was it down
we sing the same song
but our melody is undone

reignited the longing
that cannot be quenched
taking it upon ourselves
to bind and loose
disturb the fragile rest
misplace the cadence
unfinished the song

The last augment has been made
and the fight lost and won
surrendered and conquered
no victor, no heroes, no homeland
just refugees
and silence; that we call peace

we have been undone
each of us wants to ask
but courage seems like cruelty
and love forbids the question
though our names are carved
into each other's heart

this is how we remain one
imperfect, but one

Do you ever wonder if one of us will turn
grow cold, grow soft, grow tired
enough to ask, dare ask, dare answer
yes
Am I Eve or Mary

The world is without form
that I can recognize
gravity has shifted
I struggle to stand alone, to stand at all
I fall when you are not looking
I hide the bruises with a false pride
and the false pride covers layers
fear, anger, betrayal
and sadness that grows toward despair
My joy, my confidence shattered
and, I fear, my sanity

 The world has split in two

I have been unfaithful
but I don't know to whom
All I want is Him
but all I think of is you
He listens to my bone dry prayers
You wipe away the tears
He fills the emptiness of my soul
Yet it is you I reach for in the dark
trying, trying to feel whole
what have I done
have I given more than was asked?
or taken more than was deserved?

It seemed good.....to me
Was it Eve’s sin all over again
or is this an echo of  the Virgin Eden
The Dark Perfection of Adam before Eve
with secret sighs in the loneliness of the night
longing, aching for.....what?
Was God not enough for Adam?
I’ve heard whispers, rumors
incomplete completeness
imperfect perfection
possessing all, but able to have more
Perfect love that has not learned to love enough
and refuses to rest until......

my whole world aches
and you ache, too
I long to rest in that completeness again
to  wake without the emptiness
that haunts each sunrise
Was God jealous?
loved better than we love

what was the one needful thing
held out to us
that we could not obtain together?

so we live in the “little while”

with vows to keep
new and old

till death do us part
has been turned on it's head
the golden bowl will shatter
the silver cord will break
things will be restored

death or mercy, will bind us together, once more

 

PHOTO: lost melody BY TimKruskampo

 

YOU ARE THE SPACES THE SOLIDS LEAN ON

INTERIORS

DEEP CALLS TO DEEP
AND I SIT HERE IN SILENCE
I LISTEN
THE MUSIC IS STRANGE TO ME
BUT MY HEART BEATS IN THE SAME
PROLATIO PERFECTIA
HOW CAN I KNOW?
HOW CAN I NOT KNOW

DEEP CALLS TO DEEP
AND I LONG TO LAY MY HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER
THAT LONGED FOR RESTING PLACE
I REMEMBER IT'S EVERY CONTOUR
COMFORT COMFORT I CRY
BUT YOU ARE ALREADY HERE
HOW CAN I KNOW?
HOW CAN I NOT KNOW

DEEP CALLS TO DEEP
AND I LONG TO SING THE WORDS WITH YOU
MY TONGUE CANNOT FORM THE WORDS
YET THEY LEAVE YOUR IMPRINT
ON MY VERY SOUL
AND HEAL THE WOUNDS THAT ARE ME
HOW CAN I KNOW?
HOW CAN I NOT KNOW

DEEP CALLS TO DEEP
AND I SIT HERE IN THE STILLNESS
IT HAS TAKEN SO LONG TO LEARN
THAT YOU ARE IN THE SILENCES AND SPACES
"YOU ARE THE SPACES THE SOLIDS LEAN ON"
YOU ARE
HOW CAN I NOT KNOW

photo:Long Standing Blue by A.Guandalini

COMPLINE

MEMENTO, DOMINE

AS the music of the dying sunlight

Welcomes the star-darkness;

As the song of the Autumn wind

Tenderly undresses the trees before winter;

So you words now sing to me

And beckon me to another dying

And my soul, though sown with stones,

Will Spring before Winter

This night I sleep

In Heavenly Peace.

Have Mercy on us, O God; And Hearken unto our prayer.

Before the ending of the day: Creator of the world, we pray

That thou with wonted love wouldst keep

Thy watch around us while we sleep.

O let no evil dreams be near; nor phantoms of the night appear.

Our ghostly enemy restrain; lest ought of sin our bodies stain.

Almighty Father, hear our cry; through Jesus Christ our Lord most high

Who with the Holy Ghost and thee; doth live and reign eternally. Amen.

Into thy hands, 0 Lord, I commend my spirit

For thou hast redeemed me, 0 Lord, thou God of truth:

Keep me, 0 Lord, as the apple of an eye:

Hide me under the shadow of thy wings.

Save us, 0 Lord, waking; guard us sleeping,;

that awake we may watch with Christ;

and asleep we may rest in peace.

     Compline Prayer

Image: Mandy/Laura/IAA