Since my brain can barely put 2 sentences together lately, I thought I would steal something from someone else, and when I read this on Bea's boyfriend's journal, I couldn't resist.
And I better steal something now since he may be squirrel chow by spring if he thinks he can win this stupid bet with Bea.
So excuse me while I have a word with the boy...
Dear (BTW, you have got a pick out an new Shakespeare pseudonym. I thought it was funny when Bea and Hero gave the unsuspecting Bard-neophyte the name of a cross dresser (the did tell you, didn't they?), but enough is enough Google Shakespeare characters and pick out a guy's name...your safer with the tragedies, not too many cross-dressers.)
I know the squirrels in Wooster, can be really wicked, and are probably the only source of entertainment in the middle of (what state are you in?) I mean geographical, not existential. Bea told me I was not allowed to discuss religion with you),
Anyway,I think the lack of protein is beginning to affect your thinking, after reading your last few posts. Same thing sets in every August at camp with the friends she has rooked into trying a vegan diet...I always know they have hit the wall when she tells me they are playing that stupid game called "MOO, COW!"
I think the your post (below) resembles that same "wall".
And take my word, NEVER make a bet with Bea. What were you thinking?!?
She always wins....even when she loses....it's this Svengali thing she's got going on... and has been perfecting since she was 2 days old.
The "Me in the quote below is Bea's boyfriend. The Red is my editorial comments.
If you haven't read anything before, skip this.
Unless you have been reading this blog for awhile this will make no sense to you, so just let it pass and rest assured no animals were harmed in the construction of this post.
Nathan: Man... I wish my girlfriend would kill things for me.
Me: You know, my girlfriend can kill things. People at camp talk all the time about how she can kill a squirrel from fifteen feet away using a stick or something. Her mom too, actually- it kind of makes me want to see this in action. (She offered to teach me, I have never done it. Do NOT report me to PETA.)
Sarah V: You should just bring her down here so she can kill our squirrels. We have so many of them anyway.
Me: Yay for survival tactics! We can kill them and eat them!
Nathan: So how many do you think she'd have to kill to feed the entire Circle?
Thomas: Probably about four or so.
Me: Are you kidding me? There are so many people in The Circle! And squirrels are itty bitty..
Thomas: Yeah, but not all of them would eat an entire squirrel. Some of them would just want to try one.
Me: Yeah, I suppose that's true.
Thomas: Plus, some people would not try one at all- have you forgotten about your vegan girlfriend?
Me: Huh. Yeah, that must have escaped my mind [goes back to eating his vegan chicken].
Don't toss the tofu and fire up the BBQ yet.
I think she may have been practicing when she was last home, and may even have had some success; however, I think the squirrels are not going to be such as easy mark next time.
I have seen some strange sights since she went back to school....I think they furry rodents are going to be ready for her this summer...she better have some pretty big sticks.
Better yet, go to to Burger KIng, and stop the carnage before it starts.
and then there are always a few who give up before the fight starts...
or flee the country...
or try to disguise themselves....
But I have never actually seen her do the deadly squirrel stick toss, so it just could be coincidence.